Sunday, 21 June 2020

๐”ป๐•–๐•’๐•ฃ ๐•€๐•›๐•–๐•’๐•จ๐•–๐•๐•– - A Fแด‡แดษชษดษชsแด› Mแด€ษดษช๊œฐแด‡sแด›แด ษชษด Fษช๊œฐแด›แด‡แด‡ษด Sแดœษขษขแด‡sแด›ษชแดษดs

I will be attempting to summarize ๐”ป๐•–๐•’๐•ฃ ๐•€๐•›๐•–๐•’๐•จ๐•–๐•๐•– - A Fแด‡แดษชษดษชsแด› Mแด€ษดษช๊œฐแด‡sแด›แด ษชษด Fษช๊œฐแด›แด‡แด‡ษด Sแดœษขษขแด‡sแด›ษชแดษดs of Chimamanda Ngozi Adichie. I am going to resume each number, in few sentences, as I understand it. It is not a question of analyzing the text here. I am just going to give the reader an opportunity to discover this beautiful text.
Here are the two major guidelines to feminism according to the author:
1. ๐—ฆ๐—ฒ๐—น๐—ณ-๐—˜๐˜€๐˜๐—ฒ๐—ฒ๐—บ: ๐—” ๐˜„๐—ผ๐—บ๐—ฎ๐—ป’๐˜€ ๐—ถ๐—บ๐—ฝ๐—ผ๐—ฟ๐˜๐—ฎ๐—ป๐—ฐ๐—ฒ ๐—ถ๐˜€ ๐—ถ๐—ป๐˜๐—ฟ๐—ถ๐—ป๐˜€๐—ถ๐—ฐ ๐˜๐—ผ ๐—ต๐—ฒ๐—ฟ ๐—ต๐—ฒ๐—ฟ๐˜€๐—ฒ๐—น๐—ณ ๐—ฎ๐—ป๐—ฑ ๐—ป๐—ฒ๐˜ƒ๐—ฒ๐—ฟ ๐—ถ๐—ป ๐—ฎ ๐—ฟ๐—ฒ๐—น๐—ฎ๐˜๐—ถ๐—ผ๐—ป๐˜€๐—ต๐—ถ๐—ฝ ๐˜„๐—ถ๐˜๐—ต ๐—ฎ ๐—บ๐—ฎ๐—ป.
๐Ÿฎ. ๐— ๐—ฎ๐—ป-๐—ช๐—ผ๐—บ๐—ฎ๐—ป ๐—ฒ๐—พ๐˜‚๐—ฎ๐—น๐—ถ๐˜๐˜† ๐—ฎ๐˜€ ๐˜๐—ต๐—ฒ ๐—ด๐—ผ๐—น๐—ฑ๐—ฒ๐—ป ๐—ฟ๐˜‚๐—น๐—ฒ: ๐—ฌ๐—ผ๐˜‚๐—ฟ ๐˜€๐˜๐—ฎ๐—ป๐—ฑ๐—ฎ๐—ฟ๐—ฑ ๐—ผ๐—ณ ๐—ท๐˜‚๐—ฑ๐—ด๐—ฒ๐—บ๐—ฒ๐—ป๐˜ ๐˜€๐—ต๐—ผ๐˜‚๐—น๐—ฑ ๐—ฎ๐—น๐˜„๐—ฎ๐˜†๐˜€ ๐—ฏ๐—ฒ ๐˜‚๐—ป๐—ถ๐˜ƒ๐—ฒ๐—ฟ๐˜€๐—ฎ๐—น ๐—ฎ๐—ป๐—ฑ ๐—ป๐—ฒ๐˜ƒ๐—ฒ๐—ฟ ๐—ด๐—ฒ๐—ป๐—ฟ๐—ฒ-๐—ฏ๐—ฎ๐˜€๐—ฒ๐—ฑ.

๐Ÿ™. โ„๐•–๐•๐•’๐•ฅ๐•š๐•ง๐•š๐•ซ๐•– ๐•Ÿ๐• ๐•ฅ ๐•„๐• ๐•ฅ๐•™๐•–๐•ฃ๐•™๐• ๐• ๐•• ๐•“๐•ฆ๐•ฅ ๐•’๐•๐•จ๐•’๐•ช๐•ค ๐••๐•–๐•—๐•š๐•Ÿ๐•– ๐•ช๐• ๐•ฆ๐•ฃ๐•ค๐•–๐•๐•— ๐•—๐•š๐•ฃ๐•ค๐•ฅ ๐•’๐•ค ๐•’ ๐•™๐•ฆ๐•ž๐•’๐•Ÿ ๐•“๐•–๐•š๐•Ÿ๐•˜ ๐•’๐•Ÿ๐•• ๐•Ÿ๐• ๐•ฅ ๐•’๐•ค ๐•’ ๐•„๐• ๐•ฅ๐•™๐•–๐•ฃ

It is necessary first for you to accept all it entails to be a human being. Always give your best but do not be afraid either to ask for help or accept you do not have an answer to the situation at hand. Remember that every responsibility in the house is not on you. As you look for answers to all day-to-day household challenges, do not forget your desires and happiness.

๐Ÿš. ๐”ป๐•  ๐•Ÿ๐• ๐•ฅ ๐•“๐•– ๐•’ ๐•Š๐•š๐•Ÿ๐•˜๐•๐•– ๐•„๐• ๐•ฅ๐•™๐•–๐•ฃ – ๐•š๐•— ๐•š๐•ฅ ๐•š๐•ค ๐•Ÿ๐• ๐•ฅ ๐•ฅ๐•™๐•– ๐•”๐•’๐•ค๐•– – ๐•“๐•ฆ๐•ฅ ๐••๐•  ๐•š๐•ฅ ๐•ฅ๐• ๐•˜๐•–๐•ฅ๐•™๐•–๐•ฃ

Do not take all the responsibilities of caregiving on your shoulder. Let your husband play his role. His contribution to the family up keeping should not be seen as some help but his parenting duty. Raise your daughter together and please do not be preoccupied with his not being able to do it as you could. His love for your baby is enough to accomplish the rest. 

๐Ÿ›. ๐•‹๐•–๐•’๐•”๐•™ ๐•ช๐• ๐•ฆ๐•ฃ ๐”ป๐•’๐•ฆ๐•˜๐•™๐•ฅ๐•–๐•ฃ ๐•ฅ๐•™๐•’๐•ฅ ๐”พ๐•–๐•Ÿ๐•ฃ๐•– ๐•š๐•ค ๐•Ÿ๐• ๐•ฅ ๐•’ โ„๐• ๐•๐•–

Her objective should be to develop herself as an individual and not just as a girl. From very early moments of her life, teach her to explore her limits. She should know that her limit, in life, is boundless and that she is not obliged to conform herself to the moulds the society makes for girls.

๐Ÿœ. ๐•‹๐•–๐•’๐•”๐•™ ๐•™๐•–๐•ฃ ๐•–๐•ง๐•–๐•ฃ๐•ช๐•ฅ๐•™๐•š๐•Ÿ๐•˜ ๐•–๐•ฉ๐•”๐•–๐•ก๐•ฅ ๐”ฝ๐•–๐•ž๐•š๐•Ÿ๐•š๐•ค๐•ž ๐•ƒ๐•š๐•ฅ๐•–

Neither should she see her right as a privilege not her subordination as complementarity. Let her not feel that a man is gentle just because he does not step on her toes. Whatever cannot be seen as a privilege when she does it to a man is not a privilege when it is done to her.

๐Ÿ. ๐•‹๐•–๐•’๐•”๐•™ โ„๐•–๐•ฃ ๐•ฅ๐•™๐•– ๐•๐•’๐•๐•ฆ๐•–๐•ค ๐• ๐•— โ„๐•–๐•’๐••๐•š๐•Ÿ๐•˜ ๐”พ๐• ๐• ๐•• ๐”น๐• ๐• ๐•œ๐•ค

Take every measure within your reach to make her form the habit of reading. Even though she should ordinarily learn to read by seeing you read, pay her to do that if need be, for in good books lay the secrets to her success in life.

๐Ÿž. ๐•‹๐•–๐•’๐•”๐•™ โ„๐•–๐•ฃ ๐•‹๐•™๐•’๐•ฅ ๐•Ž๐• ๐•ฃ๐••๐•ค ๐•„๐•’๐•ฅ๐•ฅ๐•–๐•ฃ

Make sure she forms the habit of questioning words, languages and even praises that are addressed to her. Let her know that she should not just be appreciated for being a woman. Let her instead aspire to be appreciated and judged on her just measure.

๐ŸŸ. ๐•‹๐•–๐•’๐•”๐•™ โ„๐•–๐•ฃ ๐•Ÿ๐•–๐•ง๐•–๐•ฃ ๐•ฅ๐•  ๐•”๐• ๐•Ÿ๐•ค๐•š๐••๐•–๐•ฃ ๐•„๐•’๐•ฃ๐•ฃ๐•š๐•’๐•˜๐•– ๐•’๐•ค ๐•’๐•Ÿ ๐”ธ๐•”๐•™๐•š๐•–๐•ง๐•–๐•ž๐•–๐•Ÿ๐•ฅ

She should not condition her development to marriage for she is not defined by it. And even when she gets married, she should remember that marriage should not change her identity.

๐Ÿ . ๐•‹๐•–๐•’๐•”๐•™ โ„๐•–๐•ฃ ๐•‹๐•™๐•’๐•ฅ ๐•Š๐•–๐•๐•—-๐•ก๐•š๐•ฅ๐•ช ๐•’๐•Ÿ๐•• ๐•ƒ๐•š๐•œ๐•’๐•“๐•š๐•๐•š๐•ฅ๐•ช ๐•€๐•ค โ„•๐• ๐•ฅ ๐•’ ๐•ƒ๐•š๐•—๐•– ๐•†๐•ก๐•ฅ๐•š๐• ๐•Ÿ

She should know that nothing obliges her to seek to be liked and accepted by everyone. She should just learn to be kind, gentle, brave but she has every right to express her mind whether her points of view are accepted by others or not.

๐Ÿก. ๐•‹๐•–๐•’๐•”๐•™ โ„๐•–๐•ฃ ๐•ฅ๐•™๐•– ๐•Š๐•–๐•Ÿ๐•ค๐•– ๐• ๐•— ๐”ป๐•š๐•˜๐•Ÿ๐•š๐•ฅ๐•ช ๐•’๐•Ÿ๐•• ๐•ฅ๐•  ๐•“๐•– โ„™๐•ฃ๐• ๐•ฆ๐•• ๐• ๐•— โ„๐•–๐•ฃ ๐•€๐••๐•–๐•Ÿ๐•ฅ๐•š๐•ฅ๐•ช

She should not be afraid to be Igbo, an African and a black. Give her every opportunity to discover who she is, her history and culture. She should, however, learn to embrace the positive aspect of her culture and refute every wrong norm of her society.

๐Ÿ™๐Ÿ˜. ๐•€๐•Ÿ๐•š๐•ฅ๐•š๐•’๐•ฅ๐•– โ„๐•–๐•ฃ ๐•–๐•’๐•ฃ๐•๐•ช ๐•–๐•Ÿ๐• ๐•ฆ๐•˜๐•™ ๐•ฅ๐•  ๐”ธ๐•๐•ฅ๐•–๐•ฃ๐•Ÿ๐•’๐•ฅ๐•š๐•ง๐•– ๐•Ž๐•’๐•ช๐•ค ๐• ๐•— ๐•ค๐•–๐•–๐•š๐•Ÿ๐•˜ โ„๐•–๐•ฃ๐•ค๐•–๐•๐•— ๐•’๐•Ÿ๐•• โ„๐•–๐•ฃ ๐”ธ๐•ก๐•ก๐•–๐•’๐•ฃ๐•’๐•Ÿ๐•”๐•–

She should have alternative approaches to sports, clothing, hairstyles, role models and lifestyle. Encourage her to practise different types of sports. Let her choose what interests her most in fashion both in her choice of hairstyles and dressings.
Avoid associating dressing codes to morality why addressing her. Be also sure to make it a question of taste and attractiveness. Surround her with good models to help her from her personality.

๐Ÿ™๐Ÿ™. ๐•Š๐•’๐•ง๐•– โ„๐•–๐•ฃ ๐”ฝ๐•ฃ๐• ๐•ž ๐•ฅ๐•™๐•– โ„‚๐•ฆ๐•๐•ฅ๐•ฆ๐•ฃ๐•’๐• ๐”ธ๐•ค๐•ค๐• ๐•”๐•š๐•’๐•ฅ๐•š๐• ๐•Ÿ ๐• ๐•— โ„•๐• ๐•ฃ๐•ž๐•ค ๐•ฅ๐•  ๐”น๐•š๐• ๐•๐• ๐•˜๐•ช

Teach her that the biological arguments that are usually used to justify men’s superiority over women are ill-conceived and misogynistic. There is nothing that proves the norms in which men have a right of ownership of the child or men’s promiscuous as just normal if not a wrong conception of biology.

๐Ÿ™๐Ÿš. ๐”พ๐•š๐•ง๐•– โ„๐•–๐•ฃ ๐•’ ๐•Š๐• ๐•ฆ๐•Ÿ๐•• ๐•Š๐•–๐•ฉ๐•ฆ๐•’๐• ๐”ผ๐••๐•ฆ๐•”๐•’๐•ฅ๐•š๐• ๐•Ÿ ๐•๐•–๐•ฃ๐•ช ๐”ผ๐•’๐•ฃ๐•๐•ช

She should know herself enough to the extent of having the right words to discuss her sex life and sex in general with you. Avoid making her feel ashamed of discussing her sex and her body. She should know not to associate sex with shame but also not to ignore the emotional and physical consequences associated with it.

๐Ÿ™๐Ÿ›. ๐”ผ๐•ข๐•ฆ๐•š๐•ก โ„๐•–๐•ฃ ๐•จ๐•š๐•ฅ๐•™ ๐•ฅ๐•™๐•– ๐•‹๐• ๐• ๐•๐•ค ๐•Ÿ๐•–๐•”๐•–๐•ค๐•ค๐•’๐•ฃ๐•ช ๐•ฅ๐•  ๐•ค๐•™๐•’๐•ฃ๐•– โ„๐•–๐•ฃ ๐”ฝ๐•–๐•–๐•๐•š๐•Ÿ๐•˜๐•ค ๐•จ๐•š๐•ฅ๐•™ ๐•๐• ๐•ฆ

She should know what love is and the best way to realize that is by initiating her to self-discovery and relationship. Teach her that love is a mutual relationship between two individuals demanding each member to give oneself and receive the other. And that in marriage, she is not subordinate to the man but will bear in mind that it is a relationship of giving-and-taking.

๐Ÿ™๐Ÿœ. ๐•‹๐•–๐•’๐•”๐•™ โ„๐•–๐•ฃ ๐•ฅ๐•™๐•’๐•ฅ ๐•ฅ๐•™๐•– ๐•†๐•ก๐•ก๐•ฃ๐•–๐•ค๐•ค๐•–๐•• ๐•’๐•ฃ๐•– ๐•Ÿ๐• ๐•ฅ ๐•’๐•๐•จ๐•’๐•ช๐•ค ๐•Š๐•’๐•š๐•Ÿ๐•ฅ๐•ค

Let her know that not because women are mainly oppressed by the society that they are all innocent. And that being a woman does not make one a better pair in the society. This she should know because women are human and therefore are constituted of good and bad ones.

๐Ÿ™๐Ÿ. ๐”ป๐•š๐•—๐•—๐•–๐•ฃ๐•–๐•Ÿ๐•”๐•–๐•ค ๐”ธ๐•ฃ๐•– ๐•“๐•ฆ๐•ฅ ๐”ป๐•š๐•ง๐•–๐•ฃ๐•ค๐•– ๐”ฝ๐• ๐•ฃ๐•ž ๐• ๐•— ๐”ผ๐•ฉ๐•š๐•ค๐•ฅ๐•–๐•Ÿ๐•”๐•–

You should teach her to embrace differences as normal and nothing extraordinary. There must always be the raison d’être of each difference. She should also know that her universe is not the standard of judgement and her cultural background and values are just but among many others.
 

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